Abhay Khosla is a regular contributor to The Savage Critics, a review of comic books. He’s made a foray into writing comics, and his absurdist, scatalogical adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula has garnered internet notoriety. Khosla also self-publishes Twist Street, an anthology of comics and other writing.

TMN: What inspired you to adapt Dracula?

Abhay Khosla: I don’t know where any of the Dracula stuff specifically came from. I don’t really remember. That was never the point for me. My motivation was that I wanted to experiment with clip-art solutions. Between South Park and Adult Swim, there’s no shortage of evidence that combining limited animation and absurdist comedy can yield interesting results.

I wish I had a funny answer for this. Basically, I’m kind of a nerdy Poindexter when it comes to things like web comics and clip-art solutions and the transition of comics from print to online media.



TMN: Why are vampire stories always so popular?

AK: I don’t know, really. Bram Stoker’s vampire is very different from the modern spin, I think. One might imagine Bram Stoker’s Dracula spoke to Victorian women’s repressed and unspoken sexual desires. “Dracula’s a dude what’ll have sex with you, ladies.” It’s kind of a gross rape fantasy, really. Is that true of modern vampires? The modern vampire is basically an abstinent heterosexual pretty-boy. It’s Angel who won’t have sex because he’s afraid of “losing his soul,” or that Twilight guy who won’t because he’s Mormon, or whatever. Dracula’s gone from “dude what’ll turn you out” to “dude that’ll hold your purse.”

But I see it other places, too. I tend to prefer to read blogs written by women, Tumblr-style blogs, especially. Tumblr seems to be predominantly women in their 20s and early 30s living either in Williamsburg or Silver Lake, who listen to, like, the Arctic Monkeys. And I’ve been reading these ladies complain about men they’re dating, and the complaints are so depressing in how little they’re asking for. “I wish a man would buy movie tickets ahead of time for our dates. I wish a man would make reservations for dinner. I wish a man would have a job, for which he earns a salary.” I saw one the other day, the gist of the story was, “I was on a date with a boy, and he interrupted our date to pee on a tree, right in front of me.”

I mean, in the 1950s, they had something called the battle of the sexes, and they made movies about it, and the movies were delightful. Has it really devolved to “I wish a man would not pee in front of me”? Worst Frank Tashlin movie ever.

So, yeah, my short answer is that vampires are popular because guys who live in Williamsburg and Silver Lake can’t satisfy women sexually.

TMN: What’s your favorite object in your office?

AK: I inherited a print of dogs playing poker with my office, C.M. Coolidge’s “A Friend in Need.” Besides a Johnny Bench bobble-head, it’s the only decoration I keep in my office. I don’t have the best nesting impulse. But I look at it every day.

(1) The dogs have beers, whiskey, pipes, and cigars. I like that the dogs aren’t just playing poker, they’re getting hammered. (2) Two of the seven dogs are cheating—the two smallest dogs at the table, I might add. (3) The dogs who are cheating are making a lot more money than the dogs who are playing an honest game of poker. And (4) doggies!

Plus, C.M. Coolidge was the inventor not only of the dogs playing poker genre, but also the inventor of those big drawings of cartoon characters at parks, where tourists put their head through hole in the face and people take photos of them. Do you know what I’m talking about? They’re called “Comic Foregrounds.” I always just called them “those hole things.”

TMN: Comics readers are known for brand loyalty. How much of an effect will the recent Disney buyout of Marvel have on readers?

AK: I don’t think I agree with the premise of this question. The Marvel “brand” is seeing a change of ownership, but the brand itself isn’t going away, to my present understanding. There will still be a Marvel Comics after Disney has completed its purchase. McDonalds owns Chipotle. Coke owns Sprite. So mostly, I don’t care. Marvel has a culture, and a company’s culture doesn’t change overnight—people have to be fired. Then, their loyalists have to be fired, and their loyalist’s loyalists. Marvel was in a very different position at the end of the ‘90s than they are now, a historic low-point—all bad news. Then, the right people started getting fired.

Marvel’s competitor DC just fired a guy, though? But just one. So far.

Really, more than brand loyalty, though, comic readers are more known for their amazing lovemaking skills. Why can’t we get that rumor circulating for a change? I heard that the effect of the recent Disney buyout of Marvel is that comic readers will just have to spend more time giving your girlfriend multiple orgasms while you’re not around; pass it on.

TMN: What’s something you’re not good at, but wish you were?

AK: Well, you know how Matthew McConaughey named his production company j.k. livin productions, based upon his dialogue from Dazed and Confused? “Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they’re gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin’ man, L-I-V-I-N.”

So, yeah, I kind of wish I was better at whatever the hell is going on with Matthew McConaughey. I wish I could just keep livin’, l-i-v-i-n. And sadly, I mean that much more sincerely than you expect. This may be the most sincere answer I’ve given in this interview. —Erik Bryan, Nov. 5, 2009

Freelance Whales cut their teeth playing jaunty pop music on the streets of Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Recently, the Metropolitan Transit Authority granted the band a license to play in subway stations as an official member of Music Under New York, complete with banner. We spoke to one of the band’s multi-instrumentalists, Jake Hyman, about the differences between street and tunnel playing.

TMN: Tell us about your subway license. What’s better, playing the subways or busking on the street?

Jake Hyman: The Music Under New York award was quite an honor. We get to be those guys with the big black and yellow banner behind them playing in the most crowded stations, being ignored by millions of commuters, not just the hundreds we get when we play on Bedford Avenue. As a group I think we find playing on the streets and subways to be a very different experience than playing a traditional show.

TMN: How so?

JH: The reactions we get on the street are very real, very ethereal. If people don’t like it or they’re too busy, they move on. If they do like it they smile, they dance, they clap (and give us money). But either way everyone’s on the same page. The feedback is immediate and unavoidable.

TMN: You closed down Bedford Avenue during one street show. Is that your turf now? Do street and subway musicians fight for the best spots?

JH: I wish we could call it our turf! The truth is we just sort of wander until we find a good spot. Lately we’ve taken to playing both on Bedford Ave and down in the L-train station when there isn’t another band around. Other musicians have been really friendly about sharing stations with us. As long as you ask and don’t just start encroaching on someone’s livelihood, nothing gets contentious.

TMN: You’re a subway rider, what makes you irrationally angry?

JH: When people don’t wait for me to exit the train before they push their way on—it takes every ounce of strength not to strangle them. Even just seeing someone do that when I’m not involved gets me, too. I’ve verbally accosted more than one person about it (much to the chagrin of my girlfriend) and never been satisfied with an apology.

TMN: How does the band’s creative preparation begin?

JH: Before shows we get together and do our own form of meditation. We get into a circle and close our eyes and hold hands and do some chanting and harmonizing. To me it feels like we’re just sort of putting ourselves in a bubble together and really connecting. It really helps to focus and relax us; our diverse instrument setup at traditional venues can get pretty stressful and hectic.

TMN: What’s something you’re not good at but wish you were?

JH: Musically? I’m a horrible lyricist. As a lifetime choir singer I can come up with melodies and harmonies like it’s my job…which it sort of is. But I have the lyrical prowess of a monkey. Non-musically? I wish I were good at a sport. Not just casually good, but had some sort of natural aptitude for applying myself to soccer or hockey. My dad and I used to play sports constantly and I used to be in all the youth leagues (though I wasn’t very good), but around the time I got my first drum set I stopped playing sports altogether.

TMN: What is your favorite object in your office?

JH: I’m a writer all day, every day, so I get to sit around and type stuff. In between paragraphs and while I’m doing research, I love to grab my guitar and just noodle around for a while. I’m a drummer through and through, but I can’t help but try to practice something else for a while to remind me why exactly it is that I stick to the drums.

TMN: What’s next for Freelance Whales?

JH: Well, recently we put out our first record, Weathervanes. It’s been a long road to get it heard, get it up on iTunes, and make it accessible to everyone that wants it, and we’re going to really be playing hard to support the record at a bunch of CMJ shows this year. Hopefully a tour is not too far off. Of course, we’re going to keep playing on the subways and streets, but I’m excited that we can start to ramp up the number of proper shows we’re playing, as well. —Mike Smith, Oct. 21, 2009